Columns

My last job at The New York Times, where I worked in various writing and editing positions for almost 30 years before retiring in 2023, was as an obituary writer. Almost all of the hundreds of obituaries I wrote were assigned to me by editors, who reviewed the daily list…

My late daughter, Cammy, was diagnosed with Rett syndrome at just 20 months old in 2011. From that moment on, advocacy became part of our everyday life. Cammy’s journey taught our family not only about the challenges that people with disabilities face, but also about the importance of compassion,…

Our daughter, Abby, who has Rett syndrome, just turned 29. It’s the kind of number that makes a parent think, “Can that possibly be right?” And, “Good golly, we’ve been doing this for a long time.” Abby may or may not care about birthdays, but if she does, she’s…

For more than a week now, our daughter, Abby, has been fighting off respiratory syncytial virus, or RSV, a rapacious bug that invades the respiratory tract. I gave it to her. It’s hard to watch her struggling with the deep cough, the phlegm, the runny nose. Abby, who is 29…

“Do we have chunky peanut butter?” It was an ordinary question my husband asked one afternoon last year. He was standing in the kitchen, scanning the pantry, and thinking about sandwiches. But his question stopped me cold. For 15 years, only smooth peanut butter filled our shelves. Not because we…

I never thought about where I sat in the school’s gymnasium until my late daughter, Cammy, gained a wheelchair when she was 3. For most of my life, taking a seat was automatic — I’d climb to the top row of the bleachers, without hesitation, and settle in wherever the…

On Jan. 3, 2012 — my husband’s birthday — our late daughter, Cammy, received her voice. It wasn’t a voice in the traditional sense, as it didn’t come from her mouth or vocal cords. Rather, it came from a computer — a technology so advanced it felt almost unreal.

Dec. 13 marks two years since my oldest daughter, Cammy, passed away from complications of Rett syndrome. She was 14 years, 9 months, and 3 days old. I hold on to that number because it matters. It’s not just a measure of time; it’s a line in our family’s…

While raising a child with profound special needs, I felt like we didn’t have control over much. Rett syndrome grabbed ahold of our late daughter Cammy, and there wasn’t much we could do about it. The only things we felt we could control were raising awareness, fundraising, and assisting…

I’ve always been fascinated by birth order theory, which suggests that the order in which children are born may influence their personality traits and relationship roles. As the youngest of six kids, I loved being the baby of the family. While my siblings would say I was spoiled,…