Why our daughter’s 8th-grade promotion is extra meaningful

When I was growing up, my parents never made a big deal out of graduations. In fact, my brother was at the beginning of the alphabet, so he walked across the stage in high school, received his diploma, and promptly exited through a side door, where we all met him. Of six siblings, not even half of us attended our college graduations.

I chalked this outlook up to a couple of things. With six kids in our family, it would’ve meant well over a dozen graduation parties. My parents didn’t want to host big dinners or parties where people might feel inclined to bring gifts. Mostly, it was just that we were expected to graduate from middle school, high school, and then college.

Now that I’m a parent, our two daughters had different situations. With our oldest daughter, Cammy, who passed away due to complications of Rett syndrome on Dec. 13, 2023, we had no idea how many graduations she would get to have. Conversely, we expected that our younger daughter, Ryan, who is healthy and neurotypical, would graduate middle school, high school, and college. (In our school district, there’s no graduation from eighth grade to high school. Rather, it’s considered a promotion.)

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Sadly, I was realistic with Cammy. We made sure she knew it was a big deal for her to graduate eighth grade in May 2023. It was the only graduation Cammy would have. She passed away one semester into her freshman year of high school. We never took it for granted that she had reached high school.

This week, it’s Ryan’s turn to be promoted to high school. While we’re so proud of Ryan’s grades, extracurricular activities, and character, I can’t help thinking about the fact that she’s always been expected to move on to high school. As I think more deeply about her middle school experience, I celebrate her resiliency, especially over the last two years. For Ryan, middle school wasn’t the typical experience that most children have.

Ryan went through the worst things imaginable: learning that her sister would die, being there when she passed, and then finding a way to keep on living. And she made it through all of that. Ryan experienced more than anyone should have to as a middle schooler. Those are the things we will celebrate this week when she is promoted to high school.

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