An Excess of Lemons — Neil Genzlinger

An Excess of Lemons
— Neil Genzlinger

Neil Genzlinger and his wife, Donna, have two children: Emily, a lawyer, and Abigail, who was born with Rett syndrome in 1997. Neil worked at The New York Times as an editor, a columnist for the Jersey section, a theater and television critic, and an obituary writer; he retired from a nearly 50-year journalism career in 2023. This column, with its proverbial title, will be occasionally inspiring, but also honest about difficulties and setbacks.

The one question I wish my nonverbal child could answer

So much of human interaction is based on asking a question and getting a response. “How are you today?” “Did you have fun on your vacation?” “How’s the job going?” I’m still asking my daughter Abby questions every day, though she hasn’t answered one in the 29 years she’s been…

The spa, the snow, and the Make-A-Wish gift that keeps giving

Winter seems to be over at last here in New Jersey. Rats. Abby and I never did get to go swimming in the snow. Twelve years ago, my wife, Donna, and I realized that our daughter Abby, who has Rett syndrome, was a year away from turning 18, which…

Opening day, and that time a ribbon wasn’t the only thing that was cut

My daughter Abby has probably scored more runs than any player in the history of her baseball league. She’s also never won a game. She’ll continue to add to those impressive statistics next weekend, when the Miracle League of Mercer County, New Jersey, opens its spring season and…

‘Spread the Word Day’ reminds me of our own encounter with the R-word

The service organization Best Buddies International has had a campaign going this month to “End the R-Word,” as the subject line in an email it sent out a few weeks ago put it. Best Buddies, which creates social and job opportunities for people with intellectual disabilities, has been conducting this…

A song, an obit, and a special needs parent meltdown

My last job at The New York Times, where I worked in various writing and editing positions for almost 30 years before retiring in 2023, was as an obituary writer. Almost all of the hundreds of obituaries I wrote were assigned to me by editors, who reviewed the daily list…

What we’ve learned in 29 years as Rett syndrome parents

Our daughter, Abby, who has Rett syndrome, just turned 29. It’s the kind of number that makes a parent think, “Can that possibly be right?” And, “Good golly, we’ve been doing this for a long time.” Abby may or may not care about birthdays, but if she does, she’s…

I’ve been on the lookout for the look that says, ‘Enough is enough’

For more than a week now, our daughter, Abby, has been fighting off respiratory syncytial virus, or RSV, a rapacious bug that invades the respiratory tract. I gave it to her. It’s hard to watch her struggling with the deep cough, the phlegm, the runny nose. Abby, who is 29…