Lamenting a broken memento of a big night out

It was just an overpriced Broadway bauble, so why has its demise made me so glum?

Yeah, I broke our “Big River” coffee mug. I was putting it in the dishwasher yesterday and bumped it against the rack. The handle broke off in multiple pieces.

We got the mug nine years ago — more on that and what this has to do with Rett syndrome later — but our family’s fondness for “Big River,” the musical based on Mark Twain’s “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn,” goes back decades.

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My wife, Donna, and I first saw the show in its formative stages in 1984 at the American Repertory Theater in Massachusetts. We’d driven up from Connecticut because the cast included two friends of mine from college at the University of Southern Maine, Thomas Derrah and Tony Shalhoub, both still early in what became impressive acting careers. The production blew us away, especially Heidi Landesman’s jaw-dropping set, a panorama of the Mississippi Valley that was unveiled midway through the first act. Donna and I had both seen a lot of theater, but that was the first time we’d ever seen a set draw a show-stopping ovation.

The broken mug that meant so much. (Photo by Neil Genzlinger)

“Big River” opened on Broadway the next year and ran for more than 1,000 performances. We saw several of those over its run, and when the Broadway soundtrack, with those catchy Roger Miller songs, came out, we put it in regular rotation on our turntable. Our first child came along about this time, and then, in 1997, our second, Abby, who has Rett syndrome.

Both of them got to know the “Big River” music from our frequent playing of it. Abby, like many with Rett syndrome, doesn’t like shows or movies that she’s not already familiar with; I think it’s because the cognitive impairments that go along with the condition make it hard for her to follow stories in real time. But knowing the music from “Big River” made that a show she could enjoy. So, in 2017, we took her to a production at New York City Center in Manhattan, part of that organization’s “Encores!” series. It was such a great night that on the way out we bought a souvenir — a coffee mug emblazoned with the show’s name.

Even back then, age was starting to make elaborate outings like that one somewhat difficult for Donna and me. Today, now that we’re in our Social Security years, the thought of making the 90-minute trek into New York with Abby from our home in New Jersey fills us with dread. I’m still relatively spry, but Donna is hobbled by a bad back, and Abby has become less manageable as she has aged, prone to bouts of irritability that preclude a long night out on the town.

And so, when I broke that “Big River” mug, it seemed depressingly symbolic. The mug was a reminder of a time when Abby’s life was a lot richer than it is now and Donna and I still had the capacity to make it so. That time is gone, and now so is the memento of it.

Note: Rett Syndrome News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Rett Syndrome News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Rett syndrome.