A pink homecoming dress keeps sisters connected
How my daughter honored her late older sister at a special high school event
Grief is complicated. There’s no playbook, but I wish there were. I try to prepare myself for events that I know will evoke grief, but I can’t stop it from bubbling up.
My oldest daughter, Cammy, passed away in December 2023Â at the age of 14 from complications of Rett syndrome. She had only been in high school for a couple of months, but that short time was filled with wonderful memories.
The biggest highlight for her and our family was homecoming. It was the final school event Cammy attended, and the last time we saw her happy and healthy. I am forever grateful she had a magical night.
Cammy Babiarz’s final school event was homecoming in 2023. (Photo by Jackie Babiarz)
Her little sister, Ryan, did her makeup and hair. Cammy’s friend Jack was an incredible date. His family helped him make a “Sesame Street”-themed proposal sign, as the show was her favorite. Jack got Cammy a corsage, and they allowed us parents to take a million photos as they beamed with joy. Then they partied the night away at the high school with their peers.
Last weekend was Ryan’s first homecoming. I knew it would be an extremely difficult week for me, but more than anything, I didn’t want to project my grief onto Ryan. I tried to prepare myself, but nothing could stop the grief punches.
The day before homecoming, I walked into Cammy’s room. I saw that Ryan put her first homecoming proposal poster in her sister’s room. I immediately started to cry. Ryan wanted to make sure Cammy was part of her big high school event, just like she was a part of Cammy’s.
Ryan Babiarz wears her older sister’s homecoming dress in 2025. (Photo by Jackie Babiarz)
I felt paralyzed the rest of the day. I lay in bed sobbing. I miss her so much. I wished Cammy could be there to do Ryan’s hair and makeup. I wished they were getting ready together, taking photos together, and finding one another at the dance.
Ryan knew months earlier that she wanted to wear the same pink dress that Cammy wore to homecoming. It looked very different on Ryan’s 5-foot-3-inch body than it did on Cammy’s 4-foot-tall, 40-pound frame. While the dress fit them differently, they both looked stunning.
Winks from above throughout the night showed that Cammy was with Ryan. It had rained during dinner, but when it was time for pictures, the sun came back out and a rainbow appeared in the sky. All the girls’ bouquets had a hint of purple in them — the color of Rett syndrome awareness.
Ryan had a memorable night just like Cammy did. Cammy may not have physically been with Ryan that evening, but in a way, they were still able to share another homecoming.
Note: Rett Syndrome News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Rett Syndrome News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Rett syndrome.
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