An Excess of Lemons
— Neil Genzlinger

Neil Genzlinger and his wife, Donna, have two children: Emily, a lawyer, and Abigail, who was born with Rett syndrome in 1997. Neil worked at The New York Times as an editor, a columnist for the Jersey section, a theater and television critic, and an obituary writer; he retired from a nearly 50-year journalism career in 2023. This column, with its proverbial title, will be occasionally inspiring, but also honest about difficulties and setbacks.

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Taking care of a child with Rett is tiring, but not as much as having it

My two most recent columns were about the documentary “Silent Angels: The Rett Syndrome Story,” and how it came to be. The film was broadcast on television in 2000, the year our daughter Abby, who has Rett syndrome, turned 3. When I rewatched it to write…

Lamenting a broken memento of a big night out

It was just an overpriced Broadway bauble, so why has its demise made me so glum? Yeah, I broke our “Big River” coffee mug. I was putting it in the dishwasher yesterday and bumped it against the rack. The handle broke off in multiple pieces. We got the mug nine…

The one question I wish my nonverbal child could answer

So much of human interaction is based on asking a question and getting a response. “How are you today?” “Did you have fun on your vacation?” “How’s the job going?” I’m still asking my daughter Abby questions every day, though she hasn’t answered one in the 29 years she’s been…

‘Spread the Word Day’ reminds me of our own encounter with the R-word

The service organization Best Buddies International has had a campaign going this month to “End the R-Word,” as the subject line in an email it sent out a few weeks ago put it. Best Buddies, which creates social and job opportunities for people with intellectual disabilities, has been conducting this…

A song, an obit, and a special needs parent meltdown

My last job at The New York Times, where I worked in various writing and editing positions for almost 30 years before retiring in 2023, was as an obituary writer. Almost all of the hundreds of obituaries I wrote were assigned to me by editors, who reviewed the daily list…

What we’ve learned in 29 years as Rett syndrome parents

Our daughter, Abby, who has Rett syndrome, just turned 29. It’s the kind of number that makes a parent think, “Can that possibly be right?” And, “Good golly, we’ve been doing this for a long time.” Abby may or may not care about birthdays, but if she does, she’s…