The great snake experiment. Also, goats.

I’ve been taking a lot of flak for letting someone drape a giant snake around my daughter Abby a few weeks ago. And I’ll admit that, as part of my ongoing search for a therapeutic breakthrough for Abby, who has Rett syndrome, the experiment was a failure. The goat stampede a few days later was much more promising.

Perhaps I should explain. Years ago, my wife, Donna, and I regularly took Abby to a stable that offered therapeutic horseback riding. Not only did Abby love the experience, but it also had visible therapeutic benefits. People with Rett syndrome are subject to dystonia, constant hand-wringing, and a general tenseness in their bodies. Atop a horse, being led around a ring or an outdoor trail, Abby relaxed in a deep, satisfying way that she never did even while vegging out in front of the TV, and her hand-wringing magically stopped.

But that was years ago. In 2009, Abby had spinal surgery for scoliosis, a common condition in people with Rett syndrome, and now she has a rod all the way down her back. We’ve been afraid to put her on a horse since, for fear of the damage that falling off of one might cause.

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But I miss those therapeutic benefits, and presumably Abby does, too, so lately I’ve been searching for a different animal that might help her in the way a horse did. Don’t bother saying “therapy dog,” because for some reason Abby’s been afraid of dogs as long as we can remember. But strolling the Anah Shrine Circus a few weeks ago while visiting Abby’s sister in Maine, I saw another possibility.

At one carny sideshow, for $10 you could have your kid photographed with either of two animals. One was a baby kangaroo, but being a safety-conscious dad, there’s no way I’m putting Abby near one of those things; I’ve heard kangaroos can kick the stuffing out of you. So I went with the other choice: a python, or maybe it was a boa constrictor, which a snake wrangler draped across our shoulders while an aide shot photos on my phone.

Abby and her dad, and a snake, in Presque Isle, Maine. (Courtesy of Neil Genzlinger)

The creature was as heavy as, well, a horse, and unlike a horse, it would be almost impossible for Abby to fall off of it. But it did not immediately produce any therapeutic benefits. In fact, it drew a look from Abby, who is nonverbal, that seemed to say, “Is there anyone from Child Protective Services in the house?”

Also less than enthusiastic was Abby’s mother. She had not come to the circus with us, but when I uploaded a picture of the snake encounter to my Facebook page, the comment she posted did not embrace the spirit of scientific inquiry as I’d hoped. “WHAT THE HELL?” she wrote.

So a few days later, I tried goats. Specifically, the Good Goat Farm in Perham, Maine, which offers “therapeutic goat walks.” A lovely woman named Nikena took us on a mile-long walk with seven delightful goats, each named after a “Star Wars” character. The path was a woodland trail, much of it along a river, and the pace was perfect for Abby, who, unlike many with Rett syndrome, still walks, but with difficulty.

When Abby and I walk on our own, we rarely get past a half-mile, but with the goats to entertain her, she handled the mile easily. Saddling up a goat and riding it presumably would be frowned upon, but just having a few romping beside her or nuzzling into her pockets in search of food amused Abby to the point of helping her forget Rett syndrome for a while. Even “WHAT THE HELL?” Donna seemed to enjoy the walk.

Unfortunately, now that we’re back home in New Jersey, the Good Goat Farm is more than 10 hours away by car. Some places near us offer goat yoga, but not therapeutic goat walks.

So the search for a replacement for therapeutic horseback riding continues. Perhaps we’ll try the Walk With an Alpaca place over in the next county, although I’ve heard those things can also kick the stuffing out of you. 

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